DIVORCE:  FINDING A BETTER WAY

Divorce ranks number 2 (behind death of a spouse) on the list of the Top Ten Stressors that can affect our lives.  Why? Going through a divorce generally takes an agonizingly huge toll on the mind, body, spirit – and wallet – of those who experience it.  Add to this, the ineffective counsel of some professionals involved, and you have a powder keg of emotional turmoil. As a result, a new way of approaching divorce is emerging.  

THE TEAM APPROACH

The Team Approach involves a group of professionals who clearly understand the painful transition of divorce.  They are skilled in psychology, law and personal finance and work together to assist you in making healthy decisions during this difficult and potentially traumatic time.  Their mission is to help families and individuals navigate the divorce process with better understanding and improved coping skills.  

If you were an athlete and had a serious injury, you would be taken to a hospital where a team of specialists would assist you in getting you back on your feet.  Individuals going through a divorce have the same need for the team approach, with professionals who specialize in facilitating conversations around the unique needs of families in divorce, financial guidance and legal advice to smooth the way going forward.  Anyone who is contemplating divorce, or who may already be involved in the process, but feels their goals are not being supported; may benefit from a team approach.

HOW IT WORKS

The best place to start is determining whether the marriage is over.  Sometimes your therapist helps with the decision-making. Ending an unhappy marriage is often a rational solution.  Once the decision is made, it becomes important to choose an attorney, financial advisor and neutral facilitator who can best serve your interests.  Various factors such as commitment of time, integrity and professionalism should be considered, as well as what the financial arrangements will be. Most importantly, look for professionals that will have the wisdom to understand your situation and have a passion for your case.  

Obviously, one professional can’t take care of all a client’s needs.  The attorney doesn’t have the degree or the experience of a financial advisor.  Similarly, a divorce coach or neutral facilitator cannot counsel the client on legal matters.  But while the client may be working with an attorney to go forward with a divorce, financial issues may arise that require advice and action.  That’s where the right financial advisor comes in to guide the client with financial questions.  

FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE

People are often confused when they think about divorce - they think it’s all about the law.  That it’s just a legal process; that you’re going to hire attorney, go to court, and end up with a document that’s signed, sealed and stamped by the court that says you are divorced.  But, when you get right down to it, divorce isn’t about the law at all. It’s true that you can’t get divorced without the law, but . . . divorce is really about three things: it’s about family, it’s about emotion, and it’s about money. 

And for most people, divorce will be the biggest financial transaction of their entire life.   Think about it. At a time when clear, rational thinking may be non-existent and simply getting out of bed each morning seems almost impossible to accomplish, a divorcing couple is required to make the most critical financial decisions of their entire life.  

Living with changing financial circumstances.  Budgets. Alimony. Child Support. Equitable Distribution.  Supporting two households. Dealing with these issues (and more) can make you dizzy.  A huge slice of the divorce process is the financial picture and the need to bring money into clearer focus.  Planning and mapping out a strategy for life after divorce is what Luana does best, easing the strain and fog of uncertainty. 

THE DIVORCE COACH OR NEUTRAL FACILITATOR

Divorce is powerful.  Life altering. To many, it implies failure.  You are dealing with the disruption of your life in so many important areas all at once: emotional, financial, and social arenas. 

You may be new to the job market or just need to clarify your career goals.  You may need to release the relationship, or your guilt, or regret. Or, need support with other issues that prevent you from making empowering decisions.  Additionally, when children are involved, parents are called upon to support their children and make critical decisions regarding how they will be raised after the divorce.  When clients use a divorce coach or neutral facilitator, they can navigate the process with greater ease and may be able to obtain a more successful outcome. With the right support, it may even be possible to view this transition time as a tremendous opportunity for growth.

Using a divorce coach or neutral facilitator is different from therapy or counseling.  The divorce coach or neutral facilitator will not be the therapist you visited with before the divorce decision was made.  In fact, you may still have visits with your therapist for added emotional support (therapy) during and after the divorce. A divorce coach or neutral facilitator’s job is more about helping you to communicate more effectively about your family’s needs while you are in the process.  It is about helping you to recognize the reality of your family’s situation and assisting you and the team in crafting a workable plan that works for your entire family after the divorce.

Ultimately, Luana hopes, in time, that you will view your divorce as a positive transition.  She believes that no matter how challenging your situation looks today, there is always hope. The professionals you hire to assist you are key to creating peace in the process.  

The concept of the team approach means that you benefit on multiple levels in making choices that will impact your life both during and after the divorce.

WHAT THE TEAM APPROACH CAN DO FOR YOU

• Help you prepare for the emotional, legal and financial realities of divorce
• Formulate strategies to address the needs of your family
• Build powerful working relationships with the divorce team to help you reach an agreement that provides your family with the best possible outcome for life after divorce
• Develop emotional stability through the legal process 
• Assist you in becoming proactive rather than reactive
• Convey information empowering you in decision-making
• Develop in you the sophistication and wisdom to recognize when the system isn’t working for you
• No matter where you are in the divorce process, helping you to move forward
• Help you become a more informed contributor to your divorce process
• Develop your confidence to continue with the process, rather than caving into the pressure you may be feeling
• Help you chose behavior that is more productive and likely to help you achieve more effective results

WHO IS THE DIVORCE PROFESSIONAL? 

In 2001 Luana Mobley Corral, CFP^®, CFS^®, CLTC™, BFA™, CDFA™ established Crossroads Consulting of South Florida, Inc. to help people plan for life after divorce.  With more than three decades of experience in the financial services industry, she is committed to helping people create new beginnings.  

Luana can work as a financial neutral for both you and your spouse in the divorce process, work for you, only, in the divorce process and with you, post-divorce.  If she works as a neutral for you and your spouse, she is unable to work with you, post-divorce. Whatever your needs are, she is happy to help you make the transition to single life and beyond.

Luana invites you to contact her for more information, or to arrange a consultation. 

Divorce consultations are billed by the hour.  Payment is due when services are rendered. Checks are payable to Crossroads Consulting of South Florida, Inc.  Credit Cards are not accepted.